Who or what I am is a complex question. One may think I am an asshole. True, of course. Just as anyone can be. We can all be a lot of things. Foolish, selfish, selfless, idiotic. . The list could go on for every descriptive word we have in the English language. And even then, we can think of more. Who we are though, is another topic all together. Who are you, for example? What is it with some people who you think you know, Its amazing the things that spring from their minds when we least expect it.
Could you look at people who burst out singing Karaoke, and consider for a moment that you had no idea they could sing by looks alone. But you know my blog isn't about singing, or dancing. Its about rash decisions and ill thought plans. I don't believe I am one to do brash things. Though I have, And I cant lie. There are things I wish I was doing now, instead of sitting here typing out my mind. Sadly, I remember the days when I used to be more of a party goer, a rock star and 'That guy!' at parties. Now, I sit here with a slight pudge in the gut wondering what happened. I don't even know who I am all the time. Everyone has an idea, I think, of who I am and who they are. Do people, even confident people, know that people judge them on a daily basis? I can think of a few people right now, that seems to be resilient to critique.
I know that being who I am, I take a lot of crap, insults and teasing. Why do I though? Why do we get flu shots? Why do we exercise, eat certain foods or train ourselves in self defense? Trounce, 'That guy!' has an anger problem, and I know it. Taking crap from my friends and people I don't really care for, is just another form of training. There are very few things that get to me, very few. And that's a good thing I believe. Does that sound cocky? Because I am no bad ass, and that's something any of my friends would tell you. Nor do I desire to be one. However, without me where would you be now? Do I have an effect on your life? You are reading something right now, because of me. The answer then is.. yes. I do. Will you heed my words, of there is any meaning in what I write, perhaps not. Chances are you will not. This is a source of amusement for you. And I appreciate that. I do not wish to go down in history un remembered. I will not pass away a dust mite in the pages of history, and thus I do plan on going out with a bang. Or at least that's how a lot of people want to go.
I have two children. A son and a daughter. My daughter lives in another state. I see pictures of her often. Though, I do wish to see her more often. My son I see daily, usually. They are probably the cutest kids I have helped create so far. I say help, because lets face it, A man cant make a baby alone. Speaking of which, ever wondered about the brain of the opposite sex? Lets take a look.. .. ..
A mans brain. Well girls, You know how it works right? Food, Sex, Beer, Sex, Blow jobs, Sex, Tits N' Ass, Sex and Man stuff! We are pretty easy to figure out right? You may have laughed at all that, which is normal. Its the way society has portrayed men for years upon years. And if that's the case, than your perfect man does not exist. Give up and put yourselves to work on the corner, You will probably find a good guy that way. Because hey, its all we want right? Men are complicated Machines. I say machines because that's what we are. I will correct myself later, but refer to this.. .. Men work. We eat food, we fuel up, we work, we come home for maintenance, some T&A and we are good to go for the next day. Its what we have done for thousands of years. Man created so much, and the world is changed because of man. I don't mean man as a universal word for men and women. I say man because lets face it. History was shaped by men. Wars were generally fought by Men. Not women. Wars change the world on an epic proportion. Only recently have men developed these things.. what are they.. feelings? Hardly though. Men have had feelings the same amount of time women have. So we may be cold and distant. But its how we are engineered. Because we are machines. If men are so simple as Fuel, Work and Rest. What are women then?
Women are amazing creatures, is what I said in my previous writing. But we all know, that they aren't always so. Women have helped shape the world as it is today. If men created everything, and it was left as such. It would be.. sharp, and jagged. Rough and made to serve purpose not please the eyes. Women have rounded out the whole world. I am not saying their haven't been females in history who have really turned a page in history. Because there are. Women are complicated, just as men are though. Lets face it, without women, the world would be barren. The race of man would die off. I like women, But I think everyone knows that about me. Hell, I wish for a good woman every day. Hard to find a good one, They always want to change who you are, smooth you out and make you pretty and perfect. Because all we want is sex, beer and food.
Ive been angry lately, with these women. If men are so cold hearted and devoid of feeling, How is it so.. we feel the pain when our hearts get stomped on. Is it because we don't show it that you keep on attacking? Women's emotions, in my opinion, need to be held in check. Its all fine and dandy that you want to express yourself. I think women get so caught up in expression of their own, that they neglect the feelings of their company. Even long after the conversation has ended, and miles have been put between two people, feelings linger much longer than anticipated. It also amazes me how getting hit in the face, and I'm talking full on fist across the jaw, liable to stagger even a bigger man; stings so much less than the bite of a sentence spoken with scorn. The worst part about something spoken as such, and I'm speaking from experience, is that it wasn't even meant like that. It was not even spoken with anger, or jealousy, or meant to hurt. It was more of an announcement of coming events.
Imagine if you will, you have been walking for some time. You are alone, and there are no sounds. Its cold, and the wind bites at your every step. Soon you are standing on a ledge. You know, very well, that falling from this precarious foothold, you will die. No if, ands or buts about it. Death will happen. Arriving at the edge, you creep to the lip. Trembling a little, wishing you were somewhere else, you feel a small bit of heat rising up from the edge. It flows softly, and it seems forever until you can feel your fingers again. Just as you relax, the wind blows softly. Its amazing, your clothes ruffle in the wind slightly, and then the wind dies. Gone, until a powerful gust hits you from behind, forcing you up on to your toes. And as quickly as it hit you, it was gone. Your balance regained, your heart is hammering. The veins in your whole body are like copper wire under the skin. You feel fit to burst, but what do you do? You were so happy a moment ago. Living life on the edge has its perks, But their is always that long fall if you fail. And where does that fall take you, to death? No, unfortunately. You will most likely find yourself walking alone, cold and unwelcome. So this metaphor, What is about. Do I tell, perhaps a glimpse.
Is a man like the one walking? The temperature the female? If so, than what is the wind. . the cliff? The fall? Could we switch it around, I think so. Where does Trounce stand at the moment? Personally, I wish I was walking alone, without the sounds or sights. I can stand the cold. Yet is that were I am. No, I am most certainly on that ledge, he heat has long since stopped rising from the cliff I sit on. I have this crazy idea that If I sit here long enough it will return. Such a fool.
Luckily though, Life goes on. I am not destined to sit here forever, typing away a blog or waiting for some metaphorical heat to return my life to its original grandeur. I will, just as we all should, rise again. There is more beer to be drank, and more sites to see. Friends need me, you need me, and people need to laugh. Depression should be cured as such. Find what makes someone tick, not what magical mental handicap they have. Problem solved.
-Trounce
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