This has been an interesting week. I have some realisations. I don't think they were the best ones, as in, those that make me happy. Probably tipping toward the negative. But that's alright, because life will go on. Set your eyes on the horizon and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I am not sure about one thing though. There is this guy, in one of the online games I play. No, Its not WoW. Seriously.. But to the point. It seems, though he is far from the circle of close friends, he seems to ask the questions I feel my close to home friends should ask. No big deal though, perhaps in the real world, as in, not online, I am not the type of person you approach for things like that. I think a lot of people put out that extremely common phrase, "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here". But are they?
Being the person I am, I will always have a place for a friend to sleep. Perhaps I cant always give someone forty bucks, or even pay back a fifty I borrowed more than a year ago. However, I do my best to keep my place and availability open to those that need help. I would probably be a lot better off if I kept myself "broke" all the time. I would like to say that I am always improving who I am. But I know that's nearly a bold faced lie. More or less, I try to talk better my mind and morals than anything. I just cant show that to anyone, because its really hard to prove that a moral has been made stronger. So, I have been toying with the idea of finding a boxing teacher. A little self discipline and a hearty workout would probably do me a good amount of.. well Good.
You know, I wanna touch on something real quick. I think its funny, and even I am guilty of it on occasion. It happens mostly online, But I hear it more and more in real life. Its so fucking common, to call someone a faggot, or a nigger. Do we have a love for the letter g or something? Or, do we just use the two things that we can make fun of the easiest because we lack some creativity. A faggot is not a cigarette. "Oh but it is in. . . " Blah blah blah. I don't fuckin CARE what a faggot is in another country, or if back in the day it was a synonym for a cigarette. You wanna call someone a faggot, or gay.. Do it elsewhere. For fucks sake, I don't actively seek to surround myself by self afflicted idiots. You wanna use the word Nigger, Go to Alabama and walk into a bar full of black people. Show me you got balls to do it, and Ill let you use it. Not that I will seriously stop you, but really.. come on. I think Racism is funny. The jokes make me laugh, because racial stereotypes are funny. Do I think actual racist behavior and actual racist violence is funny, no. Its pointless, narrow minded and ignorant. So do me the tiniest favor if you read this blog, realise those words make me uncomfortable, and don't use them. Also.. "That's so gay." Really, High school was years ago bro, let it go.
Now that I have done my one humanitarian deed for the week, what else do I talk about. Not a lot on my mind. Just had to fulfill my weekly blog. Sittin here at near 5 in the morning. Drinking a glass of water and thinking about brushing my teeth. Perhaps Ill go for a walk.
I really hope that by the time I'm 27, which is about 12 months away.. I have actually learned a thing or two in the ring, and have actually adhered to a workout routine that gets me to where I wanna be. Sick and tired of being a procrastinator. Just going to break the habit. Tired of being a fat American. Ha. That was for the 0GC Boys.
-Trounce
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Three strikes and I'm ... Out?
Alright. So, After about 3 paragraphs, I erased what I wrote. Then, erased yet another paragraph. Lack of inspiration. What does inspire me. Psychology, women, Feelings, Emotions, Music. Music? yeah, I am surprised at that comment. But I'm doing what I do best, writing off the top of my head. I have decided, That it would be best, if I just learned to define what I want in life and go for it. But, half the problem is, I don't know what I want.
I do know, that I really enjoy being a male. Something about being the protector of the species really calls to me. I never mind putting myself first, or volunteering to help. I think being the gentleman, knight in shining armor really speaks to me. Partly because its a great part of our history as men. I also think it needs to be reinforced lately. So many douche bags on planet earth right now. A whole lot more in and around my circle of friends than I thought. I know I am an asshole, especially when it comes to the emotions I put women through. I need work, I know that. But don't we all? Ive made a great many mistakes toward women. How many times will I revisit this nightmare.
Lets kill a few inner demons shall we. Lets see, Ive had 3 serious relationships I think. I've cheated in every one of them. I have lost all three, mainly for that reason. Is it all my fault.. I guess so. I couldn't keep my dick in my pants, mainly cuz its so huge! OK, We all know that's not true. Do I regret cheating, I would like to think not. I don't want to regret the one life I have, and the decisions I make in it. I would like to think I have had some of the most perfect women that life could offer, as far as them being my girlfriend.
My first. . Well, we had a song and everything. I was her first.. everything. She was the first person my heart was stolen by. She may not know it, But it was hers from the moment I laid eyes on her. It was that innocent smile, and those bright eyes. She was probably one of the happiest people id ever seen in my life. Hopefully no one knows what its like to see someone you love breaking down in front of you, because of something you did to them. I don't like to think I did that, more than once. But its true. However, in the time that we did spend together.. Despite being txted or called every other hour. . She was amazing to me. From the time we saw each other in the morning, until the txt or late call to wish each other good night.
The second, was nearly the same. Well, no. Who am I kidding. She was one of a kind, so imperfect. It was a square meeting a triangle. Different sides about everything. Nothing matched up, but we did. Somehow. Her blue eyes, so bright. She tried to hard to hide her lazy eye.. I noticed. She had the most adorable laugh, and dammit, I hated yelling at her. She didn't deserve my attitude on half the matters that came up. Although I put a lot of time and effort into our relationship. I don't think I gave it my all. More and more I think I could have saved it all. And now, Ive lost it for good I think. There are some that still put a small amount of stock into it, I just don't see it. She has gone so far as to get married, But not because of me. No. To be happy and move on. We still have, id hope, one thing that bonds us. Although, she will probably ignore it.
My third and most recent. . It still hurts, though she might not think it does. I don't even know that what we had was as real as we both think. It seemed to revolve around the bedroom, as I suppose made sense. Drinks and sex. I still loved her though. I think women are weird that way though. Taking only a moment to fall so ever deeply in love, and then when the relationship is over. It only seems a few months and they have completely forgotten everything. And as a man, Do I admit to still having such feelings long after? Is it because I can differentiate between romantic sex and physical gratification? Just something I will have to work on. She was amazing, If only we could find common ground besides a pillow top mattress.
In all these relationships I can say that I've learned a few things. Id like to say they are things I wont repeat. But that isn't the case, is it. Women are, as I've said, complex creatures. Ive read a six hundred page book, about understand women. I disregarded half of it I'm sure. Well, I retained the information. I just didn't find it accurate. Women are like time and technology. They change every few years. Things are not the way they used to be. I cant understand every one, I know that. I don't even understand myself sometimes. I am fully aware that the most sexually gratifying experiences have been with one of the three women that have been my girlfriends. And its not even due to the emotional part. Its just a fact. You can run a good race, But if you practice, you will only get better.
Perhaps, Ill just cut off women all together. Yeah, Why not. Why don't we try this, See if I can even keep a regiment to my readers. Today is.. Monday, February 21st. What happens if I don't sleep with anyone for six months. For kicks, as I've always wanted to.. Ill grow my hair out. No haircut for six months either. Lets see what I look like with ugly ass long hair. My mom will freak, I be she is as she reads this. It could be fun. Ill do my best to keep myself from women and such. Of course, though. Once I commit to this, Karma will kick me in the ass and throw every sexually frustrated women at my doorstep. Not that 2 months is any great deal, but 2 months penance for each failed relationship. What do I get if I can pull this off, as Life cant go without rewards. Well, In about six months time.. It will be my daughters birthday, and my sons will have just passed. So perhaps Ill visit my daughter? Who knows.
I will have to explain to all my friends over in Aussie, and throughout the rest of the world, and they will most likely laugh. By the way, My buddies over in Aussie are pretty bad ass. They give me more respect than I deserve. But that's cool. On with the games. They are becoming regular friends, which is nice. I cant tell you how few people ask me in real life how my kids are. I appreciate all those rough neck bastards in the good ol OGC.
-Trounce
I do know, that I really enjoy being a male. Something about being the protector of the species really calls to me. I never mind putting myself first, or volunteering to help. I think being the gentleman, knight in shining armor really speaks to me. Partly because its a great part of our history as men. I also think it needs to be reinforced lately. So many douche bags on planet earth right now. A whole lot more in and around my circle of friends than I thought. I know I am an asshole, especially when it comes to the emotions I put women through. I need work, I know that. But don't we all? Ive made a great many mistakes toward women. How many times will I revisit this nightmare.
Lets kill a few inner demons shall we. Lets see, Ive had 3 serious relationships I think. I've cheated in every one of them. I have lost all three, mainly for that reason. Is it all my fault.. I guess so. I couldn't keep my dick in my pants, mainly cuz its so huge! OK, We all know that's not true. Do I regret cheating, I would like to think not. I don't want to regret the one life I have, and the decisions I make in it. I would like to think I have had some of the most perfect women that life could offer, as far as them being my girlfriend.
My first. . Well, we had a song and everything. I was her first.. everything. She was the first person my heart was stolen by. She may not know it, But it was hers from the moment I laid eyes on her. It was that innocent smile, and those bright eyes. She was probably one of the happiest people id ever seen in my life. Hopefully no one knows what its like to see someone you love breaking down in front of you, because of something you did to them. I don't like to think I did that, more than once. But its true. However, in the time that we did spend together.. Despite being txted or called every other hour. . She was amazing to me. From the time we saw each other in the morning, until the txt or late call to wish each other good night.
The second, was nearly the same. Well, no. Who am I kidding. She was one of a kind, so imperfect. It was a square meeting a triangle. Different sides about everything. Nothing matched up, but we did. Somehow. Her blue eyes, so bright. She tried to hard to hide her lazy eye.. I noticed. She had the most adorable laugh, and dammit, I hated yelling at her. She didn't deserve my attitude on half the matters that came up. Although I put a lot of time and effort into our relationship. I don't think I gave it my all. More and more I think I could have saved it all. And now, Ive lost it for good I think. There are some that still put a small amount of stock into it, I just don't see it. She has gone so far as to get married, But not because of me. No. To be happy and move on. We still have, id hope, one thing that bonds us. Although, she will probably ignore it.
My third and most recent. . It still hurts, though she might not think it does. I don't even know that what we had was as real as we both think. It seemed to revolve around the bedroom, as I suppose made sense. Drinks and sex. I still loved her though. I think women are weird that way though. Taking only a moment to fall so ever deeply in love, and then when the relationship is over. It only seems a few months and they have completely forgotten everything. And as a man, Do I admit to still having such feelings long after? Is it because I can differentiate between romantic sex and physical gratification? Just something I will have to work on. She was amazing, If only we could find common ground besides a pillow top mattress.
In all these relationships I can say that I've learned a few things. Id like to say they are things I wont repeat. But that isn't the case, is it. Women are, as I've said, complex creatures. Ive read a six hundred page book, about understand women. I disregarded half of it I'm sure. Well, I retained the information. I just didn't find it accurate. Women are like time and technology. They change every few years. Things are not the way they used to be. I cant understand every one, I know that. I don't even understand myself sometimes. I am fully aware that the most sexually gratifying experiences have been with one of the three women that have been my girlfriends. And its not even due to the emotional part. Its just a fact. You can run a good race, But if you practice, you will only get better.
Perhaps, Ill just cut off women all together. Yeah, Why not. Why don't we try this, See if I can even keep a regiment to my readers. Today is.. Monday, February 21st. What happens if I don't sleep with anyone for six months. For kicks, as I've always wanted to.. Ill grow my hair out. No haircut for six months either. Lets see what I look like with ugly ass long hair. My mom will freak, I be she is as she reads this. It could be fun. Ill do my best to keep myself from women and such. Of course, though. Once I commit to this, Karma will kick me in the ass and throw every sexually frustrated women at my doorstep. Not that 2 months is any great deal, but 2 months penance for each failed relationship. What do I get if I can pull this off, as Life cant go without rewards. Well, In about six months time.. It will be my daughters birthday, and my sons will have just passed. So perhaps Ill visit my daughter? Who knows.
I will have to explain to all my friends over in Aussie, and throughout the rest of the world, and they will most likely laugh. By the way, My buddies over in Aussie are pretty bad ass. They give me more respect than I deserve. But that's cool. On with the games. They are becoming regular friends, which is nice. I cant tell you how few people ask me in real life how my kids are. I appreciate all those rough neck bastards in the good ol OGC.
-Trounce
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
An Apocalyptic Falicy Corrupted By Innocence.
What happens when people break their own great walls down, and let someone into their heartland? What is it that brings that once warm, loving local to arms? It seems that the answer is not one, but many. Of course, Why the Fuck would the world be simple.
I didn't quite understand a lot of things, until I experienced them. I understood why the emo cries, and tries to fit in to an impossible click at school. Was that through a direct experience? No. But you watch a magician enough, you might just understand a trick or two. Might get close enough to see that wire, cleverly stuck where.. behind his ear? Yeah, that's right. The floating card trick is a sham. But that's what happens when you get close to such things. You realize the falsifications and ill-truths. So why does the emo cry at night? Cry, I meant cut. Sorry. What is with that anyways, Let me guess.. I wouldn't understand? Of course not, I don't understand stupidity. Its something I refuse to experience. Well, that's a falsification in its own. I was untrained in the arts of many things. Until I learned. Anything can be learned.. Anything. So wear your skinny jeans with pride, and don't expect us to understand you. We wont try, because its who you are. Now quit your fuckin bitching about it. The real reason your all pissed off is your nuts cant breath and your takin heat because you stole your sisters jeans. The tight jean has been taken by a much classier version of folk. They are called Wranglers and cowboys do it better. Besides, on any given day id bet on the cowboy to kick my ass than your asphyxiated dick-head self. Unless your Tyler Cushman anyways. Cowboy Fail.
NEXT!
So if your not an emo, and you are someone we can possibly understand on regular terms.. What in life makes you be less than logical and turn what seems prudent into psychosauce? Yeah.. psychosauce. My word. Trounced! Is it a broken heart? Is it drug related.. Another love perhaps? Whatever it may be, I don't understand it. There are things in life that are a given to pause and inhale all that is in the moment. The smell, the imagery and emotional vibes. For instance, Children. The birth of a child is something I soon wont forget. I may have not been there for the first, but I was for the second. I can tell you exactly what was going on at both times when it happened. The next day, the moment is gone. The new-ness in the brain is still ecstatic. Life goes on, as normal. Normal? You question it? So its not normal the day after? Why? Were you ill prepared? Did you not expect a baby to be there the next day? Were you not preparing for 9 months? stupid Stupid STUPID if you weren't. Life goes on. But now what..
Expectations arise every day. When I went into Wendy's and ordered my sandwich meal, I expected tomato on it. With the exception, they had two very visible signs that cautioned their supply was limited due to an heavy icing around their tomato crops. No biggie, I no longer expected it. I don't like them anyways. . To my surprise.. there was tomato on it. I should have prepared, though I did not. So I suffer. However, the solution to that particular problem was easy. I removed the tomato, myself. With my bare hands. Then, I deftly reached for the napkin, but OW! I rolled a 1 on my D20 and nearly knocked over my soda! (Dungeons and Dragons reference = Win) Handling problems is what people need to do. Handle their own problems.
If you don't have enough money to do something, why pretend that you do. Why make it someone else fault. One mother yells at the ex husband, "I have no job, I have no car, I have no money, I cant afford to live on my own. . Pay me child support even though I don't have sole custody." Explain something to me dearest mother of the world. Why, if you are not able to, do you have a child? Oh, That's right. Your man didn't wear a condom. Well then, lets make that his fault, I suppose he should pay you child support. Only the funny thing is, where was your protection? Birth control, the morning after? The Fucking Common Sense to realize what would happen. No one ever regrets having children, Well.. that's also a lie. Some people do. I know that me and my present company do not regret having children at all. They are pride and joy and never to be regretted.
Perhaps that's what makes some people rage, Money. Cash. Green Backs, Facebook coins, Gold, Silver, Copper, Platinum, Dough, Bread.. The root of all evil perhaps. If you have no money, how do you go about getting it. Some work, some deal and some steal. Some people eternally borrow. However you got to get it I suppose. Something that has always irked Trounce though.. Don't ask for money when you have no desire to earn it yourself. I would loan money to almost any of my friends, unless you are unwilling to earn it. That's why its so much easier to loan a stranger bus fare. I don't care if I get it back, I don't know if you would really take the time to earn it. I don't wanna know. Because if I did find out you are nothing but a freeloading son of a bitch.. I would lie to your face, tell you I too am broke. Sorry pal. And even that isn't a whole truth, I am marginally broke right now.
I suppose if their were a moral to this particular rant, It might be to be careful what you wish for. Because if you do get it, are you ready to take it all on. Fear of success leads one to fear failing what they have just achieved. And that to me looks a whole lot less intelligent than trying and failing legitimately. Id much rather fail, than boast, achieve and fail. Too much drama for me.
-Trounce
I didn't quite understand a lot of things, until I experienced them. I understood why the emo cries, and tries to fit in to an impossible click at school. Was that through a direct experience? No. But you watch a magician enough, you might just understand a trick or two. Might get close enough to see that wire, cleverly stuck where.. behind his ear? Yeah, that's right. The floating card trick is a sham. But that's what happens when you get close to such things. You realize the falsifications and ill-truths. So why does the emo cry at night? Cry, I meant cut. Sorry. What is with that anyways, Let me guess.. I wouldn't understand? Of course not, I don't understand stupidity. Its something I refuse to experience. Well, that's a falsification in its own. I was untrained in the arts of many things. Until I learned. Anything can be learned.. Anything. So wear your skinny jeans with pride, and don't expect us to understand you. We wont try, because its who you are. Now quit your fuckin bitching about it. The real reason your all pissed off is your nuts cant breath and your takin heat because you stole your sisters jeans. The tight jean has been taken by a much classier version of folk. They are called Wranglers and cowboys do it better. Besides, on any given day id bet on the cowboy to kick my ass than your asphyxiated dick-head self. Unless your Tyler Cushman anyways. Cowboy Fail.
NEXT!
So if your not an emo, and you are someone we can possibly understand on regular terms.. What in life makes you be less than logical and turn what seems prudent into psychosauce? Yeah.. psychosauce. My word. Trounced! Is it a broken heart? Is it drug related.. Another love perhaps? Whatever it may be, I don't understand it. There are things in life that are a given to pause and inhale all that is in the moment. The smell, the imagery and emotional vibes. For instance, Children. The birth of a child is something I soon wont forget. I may have not been there for the first, but I was for the second. I can tell you exactly what was going on at both times when it happened. The next day, the moment is gone. The new-ness in the brain is still ecstatic. Life goes on, as normal. Normal? You question it? So its not normal the day after? Why? Were you ill prepared? Did you not expect a baby to be there the next day? Were you not preparing for 9 months? stupid Stupid STUPID if you weren't. Life goes on. But now what..
Expectations arise every day. When I went into Wendy's and ordered my sandwich meal, I expected tomato on it. With the exception, they had two very visible signs that cautioned their supply was limited due to an heavy icing around their tomato crops. No biggie, I no longer expected it. I don't like them anyways. . To my surprise.. there was tomato on it. I should have prepared, though I did not. So I suffer. However, the solution to that particular problem was easy. I removed the tomato, myself. With my bare hands. Then, I deftly reached for the napkin, but OW! I rolled a 1 on my D20 and nearly knocked over my soda! (Dungeons and Dragons reference = Win) Handling problems is what people need to do. Handle their own problems.
If you don't have enough money to do something, why pretend that you do. Why make it someone else fault. One mother yells at the ex husband, "I have no job, I have no car, I have no money, I cant afford to live on my own. . Pay me child support even though I don't have sole custody." Explain something to me dearest mother of the world. Why, if you are not able to, do you have a child? Oh, That's right. Your man didn't wear a condom. Well then, lets make that his fault, I suppose he should pay you child support. Only the funny thing is, where was your protection? Birth control, the morning after? The Fucking Common Sense to realize what would happen. No one ever regrets having children, Well.. that's also a lie. Some people do. I know that me and my present company do not regret having children at all. They are pride and joy and never to be regretted.
Perhaps that's what makes some people rage, Money. Cash. Green Backs, Facebook coins, Gold, Silver, Copper, Platinum, Dough, Bread.. The root of all evil perhaps. If you have no money, how do you go about getting it. Some work, some deal and some steal. Some people eternally borrow. However you got to get it I suppose. Something that has always irked Trounce though.. Don't ask for money when you have no desire to earn it yourself. I would loan money to almost any of my friends, unless you are unwilling to earn it. That's why its so much easier to loan a stranger bus fare. I don't care if I get it back, I don't know if you would really take the time to earn it. I don't wanna know. Because if I did find out you are nothing but a freeloading son of a bitch.. I would lie to your face, tell you I too am broke. Sorry pal. And even that isn't a whole truth, I am marginally broke right now.
I suppose if their were a moral to this particular rant, It might be to be careful what you wish for. Because if you do get it, are you ready to take it all on. Fear of success leads one to fear failing what they have just achieved. And that to me looks a whole lot less intelligent than trying and failing legitimately. Id much rather fail, than boast, achieve and fail. Too much drama for me.
-Trounce
Monday, February 14, 2011
Metaphorical History, According to Trounce
Who or what I am is a complex question. One may think I am an asshole. True, of course. Just as anyone can be. We can all be a lot of things. Foolish, selfish, selfless, idiotic. . The list could go on for every descriptive word we have in the English language. And even then, we can think of more. Who we are though, is another topic all together. Who are you, for example? What is it with some people who you think you know, Its amazing the things that spring from their minds when we least expect it.
Could you look at people who burst out singing Karaoke, and consider for a moment that you had no idea they could sing by looks alone. But you know my blog isn't about singing, or dancing. Its about rash decisions and ill thought plans. I don't believe I am one to do brash things. Though I have, And I cant lie. There are things I wish I was doing now, instead of sitting here typing out my mind. Sadly, I remember the days when I used to be more of a party goer, a rock star and 'That guy!' at parties. Now, I sit here with a slight pudge in the gut wondering what happened. I don't even know who I am all the time. Everyone has an idea, I think, of who I am and who they are. Do people, even confident people, know that people judge them on a daily basis? I can think of a few people right now, that seems to be resilient to critique.
I know that being who I am, I take a lot of crap, insults and teasing. Why do I though? Why do we get flu shots? Why do we exercise, eat certain foods or train ourselves in self defense? Trounce, 'That guy!' has an anger problem, and I know it. Taking crap from my friends and people I don't really care for, is just another form of training. There are very few things that get to me, very few. And that's a good thing I believe. Does that sound cocky? Because I am no bad ass, and that's something any of my friends would tell you. Nor do I desire to be one. However, without me where would you be now? Do I have an effect on your life? You are reading something right now, because of me. The answer then is.. yes. I do. Will you heed my words, of there is any meaning in what I write, perhaps not. Chances are you will not. This is a source of amusement for you. And I appreciate that. I do not wish to go down in history un remembered. I will not pass away a dust mite in the pages of history, and thus I do plan on going out with a bang. Or at least that's how a lot of people want to go.
I have two children. A son and a daughter. My daughter lives in another state. I see pictures of her often. Though, I do wish to see her more often. My son I see daily, usually. They are probably the cutest kids I have helped create so far. I say help, because lets face it, A man cant make a baby alone. Speaking of which, ever wondered about the brain of the opposite sex? Lets take a look.. .. ..
A mans brain. Well girls, You know how it works right? Food, Sex, Beer, Sex, Blow jobs, Sex, Tits N' Ass, Sex and Man stuff! We are pretty easy to figure out right? You may have laughed at all that, which is normal. Its the way society has portrayed men for years upon years. And if that's the case, than your perfect man does not exist. Give up and put yourselves to work on the corner, You will probably find a good guy that way. Because hey, its all we want right? Men are complicated Machines. I say machines because that's what we are. I will correct myself later, but refer to this.. .. Men work. We eat food, we fuel up, we work, we come home for maintenance, some T&A and we are good to go for the next day. Its what we have done for thousands of years. Man created so much, and the world is changed because of man. I don't mean man as a universal word for men and women. I say man because lets face it. History was shaped by men. Wars were generally fought by Men. Not women. Wars change the world on an epic proportion. Only recently have men developed these things.. what are they.. feelings? Hardly though. Men have had feelings the same amount of time women have. So we may be cold and distant. But its how we are engineered. Because we are machines. If men are so simple as Fuel, Work and Rest. What are women then?
Women are amazing creatures, is what I said in my previous writing. But we all know, that they aren't always so. Women have helped shape the world as it is today. If men created everything, and it was left as such. It would be.. sharp, and jagged. Rough and made to serve purpose not please the eyes. Women have rounded out the whole world. I am not saying their haven't been females in history who have really turned a page in history. Because there are. Women are complicated, just as men are though. Lets face it, without women, the world would be barren. The race of man would die off. I like women, But I think everyone knows that about me. Hell, I wish for a good woman every day. Hard to find a good one, They always want to change who you are, smooth you out and make you pretty and perfect. Because all we want is sex, beer and food.
Ive been angry lately, with these women. If men are so cold hearted and devoid of feeling, How is it so.. we feel the pain when our hearts get stomped on. Is it because we don't show it that you keep on attacking? Women's emotions, in my opinion, need to be held in check. Its all fine and dandy that you want to express yourself. I think women get so caught up in expression of their own, that they neglect the feelings of their company. Even long after the conversation has ended, and miles have been put between two people, feelings linger much longer than anticipated. It also amazes me how getting hit in the face, and I'm talking full on fist across the jaw, liable to stagger even a bigger man; stings so much less than the bite of a sentence spoken with scorn. The worst part about something spoken as such, and I'm speaking from experience, is that it wasn't even meant like that. It was not even spoken with anger, or jealousy, or meant to hurt. It was more of an announcement of coming events.
Imagine if you will, you have been walking for some time. You are alone, and there are no sounds. Its cold, and the wind bites at your every step. Soon you are standing on a ledge. You know, very well, that falling from this precarious foothold, you will die. No if, ands or buts about it. Death will happen. Arriving at the edge, you creep to the lip. Trembling a little, wishing you were somewhere else, you feel a small bit of heat rising up from the edge. It flows softly, and it seems forever until you can feel your fingers again. Just as you relax, the wind blows softly. Its amazing, your clothes ruffle in the wind slightly, and then the wind dies. Gone, until a powerful gust hits you from behind, forcing you up on to your toes. And as quickly as it hit you, it was gone. Your balance regained, your heart is hammering. The veins in your whole body are like copper wire under the skin. You feel fit to burst, but what do you do? You were so happy a moment ago. Living life on the edge has its perks, But their is always that long fall if you fail. And where does that fall take you, to death? No, unfortunately. You will most likely find yourself walking alone, cold and unwelcome. So this metaphor, What is about. Do I tell, perhaps a glimpse.
Is a man like the one walking? The temperature the female? If so, than what is the wind. . the cliff? The fall? Could we switch it around, I think so. Where does Trounce stand at the moment? Personally, I wish I was walking alone, without the sounds or sights. I can stand the cold. Yet is that were I am. No, I am most certainly on that ledge, he heat has long since stopped rising from the cliff I sit on. I have this crazy idea that If I sit here long enough it will return. Such a fool.
Luckily though, Life goes on. I am not destined to sit here forever, typing away a blog or waiting for some metaphorical heat to return my life to its original grandeur. I will, just as we all should, rise again. There is more beer to be drank, and more sites to see. Friends need me, you need me, and people need to laugh. Depression should be cured as such. Find what makes someone tick, not what magical mental handicap they have. Problem solved.
-Trounce
P.S. If you liked my previous blog, or this one at all, please sign up and follow. It takes 2 minutes, And id appreciate it.
Could you look at people who burst out singing Karaoke, and consider for a moment that you had no idea they could sing by looks alone. But you know my blog isn't about singing, or dancing. Its about rash decisions and ill thought plans. I don't believe I am one to do brash things. Though I have, And I cant lie. There are things I wish I was doing now, instead of sitting here typing out my mind. Sadly, I remember the days when I used to be more of a party goer, a rock star and 'That guy!' at parties. Now, I sit here with a slight pudge in the gut wondering what happened. I don't even know who I am all the time. Everyone has an idea, I think, of who I am and who they are. Do people, even confident people, know that people judge them on a daily basis? I can think of a few people right now, that seems to be resilient to critique.
I know that being who I am, I take a lot of crap, insults and teasing. Why do I though? Why do we get flu shots? Why do we exercise, eat certain foods or train ourselves in self defense? Trounce, 'That guy!' has an anger problem, and I know it. Taking crap from my friends and people I don't really care for, is just another form of training. There are very few things that get to me, very few. And that's a good thing I believe. Does that sound cocky? Because I am no bad ass, and that's something any of my friends would tell you. Nor do I desire to be one. However, without me where would you be now? Do I have an effect on your life? You are reading something right now, because of me. The answer then is.. yes. I do. Will you heed my words, of there is any meaning in what I write, perhaps not. Chances are you will not. This is a source of amusement for you. And I appreciate that. I do not wish to go down in history un remembered. I will not pass away a dust mite in the pages of history, and thus I do plan on going out with a bang. Or at least that's how a lot of people want to go.
I have two children. A son and a daughter. My daughter lives in another state. I see pictures of her often. Though, I do wish to see her more often. My son I see daily, usually. They are probably the cutest kids I have helped create so far. I say help, because lets face it, A man cant make a baby alone. Speaking of which, ever wondered about the brain of the opposite sex? Lets take a look.. .. ..
A mans brain. Well girls, You know how it works right? Food, Sex, Beer, Sex, Blow jobs, Sex, Tits N' Ass, Sex and Man stuff! We are pretty easy to figure out right? You may have laughed at all that, which is normal. Its the way society has portrayed men for years upon years. And if that's the case, than your perfect man does not exist. Give up and put yourselves to work on the corner, You will probably find a good guy that way. Because hey, its all we want right? Men are complicated Machines. I say machines because that's what we are. I will correct myself later, but refer to this.. .. Men work. We eat food, we fuel up, we work, we come home for maintenance, some T&A and we are good to go for the next day. Its what we have done for thousands of years. Man created so much, and the world is changed because of man. I don't mean man as a universal word for men and women. I say man because lets face it. History was shaped by men. Wars were generally fought by Men. Not women. Wars change the world on an epic proportion. Only recently have men developed these things.. what are they.. feelings? Hardly though. Men have had feelings the same amount of time women have. So we may be cold and distant. But its how we are engineered. Because we are machines. If men are so simple as Fuel, Work and Rest. What are women then?
Women are amazing creatures, is what I said in my previous writing. But we all know, that they aren't always so. Women have helped shape the world as it is today. If men created everything, and it was left as such. It would be.. sharp, and jagged. Rough and made to serve purpose not please the eyes. Women have rounded out the whole world. I am not saying their haven't been females in history who have really turned a page in history. Because there are. Women are complicated, just as men are though. Lets face it, without women, the world would be barren. The race of man would die off. I like women, But I think everyone knows that about me. Hell, I wish for a good woman every day. Hard to find a good one, They always want to change who you are, smooth you out and make you pretty and perfect. Because all we want is sex, beer and food.
Ive been angry lately, with these women. If men are so cold hearted and devoid of feeling, How is it so.. we feel the pain when our hearts get stomped on. Is it because we don't show it that you keep on attacking? Women's emotions, in my opinion, need to be held in check. Its all fine and dandy that you want to express yourself. I think women get so caught up in expression of their own, that they neglect the feelings of their company. Even long after the conversation has ended, and miles have been put between two people, feelings linger much longer than anticipated. It also amazes me how getting hit in the face, and I'm talking full on fist across the jaw, liable to stagger even a bigger man; stings so much less than the bite of a sentence spoken with scorn. The worst part about something spoken as such, and I'm speaking from experience, is that it wasn't even meant like that. It was not even spoken with anger, or jealousy, or meant to hurt. It was more of an announcement of coming events.
Imagine if you will, you have been walking for some time. You are alone, and there are no sounds. Its cold, and the wind bites at your every step. Soon you are standing on a ledge. You know, very well, that falling from this precarious foothold, you will die. No if, ands or buts about it. Death will happen. Arriving at the edge, you creep to the lip. Trembling a little, wishing you were somewhere else, you feel a small bit of heat rising up from the edge. It flows softly, and it seems forever until you can feel your fingers again. Just as you relax, the wind blows softly. Its amazing, your clothes ruffle in the wind slightly, and then the wind dies. Gone, until a powerful gust hits you from behind, forcing you up on to your toes. And as quickly as it hit you, it was gone. Your balance regained, your heart is hammering. The veins in your whole body are like copper wire under the skin. You feel fit to burst, but what do you do? You were so happy a moment ago. Living life on the edge has its perks, But their is always that long fall if you fail. And where does that fall take you, to death? No, unfortunately. You will most likely find yourself walking alone, cold and unwelcome. So this metaphor, What is about. Do I tell, perhaps a glimpse.
Is a man like the one walking? The temperature the female? If so, than what is the wind. . the cliff? The fall? Could we switch it around, I think so. Where does Trounce stand at the moment? Personally, I wish I was walking alone, without the sounds or sights. I can stand the cold. Yet is that were I am. No, I am most certainly on that ledge, he heat has long since stopped rising from the cliff I sit on. I have this crazy idea that If I sit here long enough it will return. Such a fool.
Luckily though, Life goes on. I am not destined to sit here forever, typing away a blog or waiting for some metaphorical heat to return my life to its original grandeur. I will, just as we all should, rise again. There is more beer to be drank, and more sites to see. Friends need me, you need me, and people need to laugh. Depression should be cured as such. Find what makes someone tick, not what magical mental handicap they have. Problem solved.
-Trounce
P.S. If you liked my previous blog, or this one at all, please sign up and follow. It takes 2 minutes, And id appreciate it.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Being the black sheep..
A while ago, I used to post once a week. I found that bloging helped me cope with stress. And at this point in life, Stress is all over the place. Especially now.
Stress issue one. Rent and utilities.
Ever notice when you seem to have it all planned out, you know, Where the money goes and who pays what; it seems to explode in a very negative manner. For instance, with a negative account balance due to a room mates unarriving check, I make plans to pay the overdue powerbill. Now dont get me wrong, not paying the powerbill one month at a time like I should, is my fault. And at my discretion. Hey, I am not perfect, and im no sheep in a flock. Fuck, I dont even consider myself the black sheep. Even being the black sheep is becoming too popular for my tastes. So, Wednesday gets here and I head on over to pay the bill. I entered my zip code wrong, now the money is sitting in tandem, unable for anyone to reach. Not even the company who has it held. Because its over a hundred bucks. Since when did a hundred dollars becoming a lot of money? I blow more money than that on strippers, on a weekly basis. Damnit...
Stress Issue Two, The exes.
Ex's. We all have them, or at least if we do have them they are a source of amusement. Generally. lately, ive been finding my exes cause me a lot more stress than they do humor and or a good time. Can anyone say they have not fucked an ex for several weeks or even months after a breakup. I suppose that is up to whether or not the sex was of note. Meh, Call me shallow but if the sex is shit im not sticking around for a relationship. Sometimes, I feel that should be my general answer to girls that want a relationship with me.
"Sorry Sugar, your sex was crap. I dont think we should see eachother anymore."
Would that be asshole-like enough of me to get off scott free? Doubt it, I would get so much more shit going that route, or so they girls would say, than if I actually did it. I can prove it too. So you, ladies, fuck a guy. he never calls you. He is a dick, end of story. Perhaps you might go so far as to harass him on facebook. Real mature. Might even blow up his phone. Sweet deal chicas. However, If you went into a relationship, where you couldnt satisfy him, and he let it happen a few more times, even let feelings develop. . Well. Now you dont feel shafted, You feel hurt. Heartbroken and used. Now its not about blowing up his facebook. Its negative inner emotions that really mean something. Its depression, drinking and probably follows with you making a bad deceision at a bar with some random stranger/s. <-- Its happened. I suppose its not even the exes that cause me stress, but more so the ideals of the women Ive encountered.
Stress Issue Three Video Games
Oh how I love video games. Am I a nerd? Probably, Still get laid more than your average joe I promise you that. "pff, By fat chicks." No, you are wrong bud. Strippers ("Eww. Gross!" Says one girl reading this blog. Your right, Strippers arent people, mothers, friends or family members. Ah, The narrowminded.) Waitresses, college girls and peers. And even then, fat chicks? Just another way to be part of the degrading message society has to send to anyone who is comfortable with their body. I cant tell you, as a male, how many times I have sat and talked up a girls self esteem because they believe they are too fat, ugly or hideous to do anything that would possibly reveal their true body nature to the world. Women, In general, are beautiful creatures. Full of over exterted emotion, crazy backstabbing schemes and vindicitive behavior sure. However, Amazing creatures with the ability to make even the worst days fade away. But with such power comes responsibility right? With such power, your nagging and "me me me!" ideals really drive us to get our mind off of things. Let me play a game, get my mind out of 'YOUR' world. Let me have complete control over some pixelated little avenger for the light, or minion of hell for just a few hours a day. I promise at the end of the night you will have my full attention. I know, Sex right. Becuase only men enjoy it, and women are use objects are to be used. Just to clear that up, Sarcasm. Women like sex just as much if not more than I do. Which is a feat all in its own. Orgasm is a word I generally only speak of in the plural sense. And to the girls that cant have orgasms. Your tricking yourself. Self fulfilling prophecy right there, Stop it. Dont believe me, Ive got references. Oh, I didnt give it, But i know who did and to who.
Just a point, to anyone who actually reads my blogs. They are tangegated. If thats not a word, I just made it one. Matter of fact, im going to look it up. One moment please..
Its not a word. As of February 9th, 2011 at 4:32 Pm. I declare Tangegated a word of Trounce-isms.
Should I explain that word? Read my previous three paragraphs. They are Tangegated. They start one place, and then flow outward until they may have nothing to do with my intiail point, However, if you retrace your steps, you might wind up at the beginning. Might being the key word. My mind runs off in tangents all time. Its a habit. I like to keep my mind healthy, busy and always in motion. As I write my posts I have music that is busy, full of words and beats. Like Techno or . . Rave music. Not something I listen to on a day to day basis. However, it seems that this music speaks to me as I write. I think this post is good for now, Ill write another in a week.
Stay stress free.. Have some sex. Smoke a bowl. Mediate. To each their own.
-Trounce
Stress issue one. Rent and utilities.
Ever notice when you seem to have it all planned out, you know, Where the money goes and who pays what; it seems to explode in a very negative manner. For instance, with a negative account balance due to a room mates unarriving check, I make plans to pay the overdue powerbill. Now dont get me wrong, not paying the powerbill one month at a time like I should, is my fault. And at my discretion. Hey, I am not perfect, and im no sheep in a flock. Fuck, I dont even consider myself the black sheep. Even being the black sheep is becoming too popular for my tastes. So, Wednesday gets here and I head on over to pay the bill. I entered my zip code wrong, now the money is sitting in tandem, unable for anyone to reach. Not even the company who has it held. Because its over a hundred bucks. Since when did a hundred dollars becoming a lot of money? I blow more money than that on strippers, on a weekly basis. Damnit...
Stress Issue Two, The exes.
Ex's. We all have them, or at least if we do have them they are a source of amusement. Generally. lately, ive been finding my exes cause me a lot more stress than they do humor and or a good time. Can anyone say they have not fucked an ex for several weeks or even months after a breakup. I suppose that is up to whether or not the sex was of note. Meh, Call me shallow but if the sex is shit im not sticking around for a relationship. Sometimes, I feel that should be my general answer to girls that want a relationship with me.
"Sorry Sugar, your sex was crap. I dont think we should see eachother anymore."
Would that be asshole-like enough of me to get off scott free? Doubt it, I would get so much more shit going that route, or so they girls would say, than if I actually did it. I can prove it too. So you, ladies, fuck a guy. he never calls you. He is a dick, end of story. Perhaps you might go so far as to harass him on facebook. Real mature. Might even blow up his phone. Sweet deal chicas. However, If you went into a relationship, where you couldnt satisfy him, and he let it happen a few more times, even let feelings develop. . Well. Now you dont feel shafted, You feel hurt. Heartbroken and used. Now its not about blowing up his facebook. Its negative inner emotions that really mean something. Its depression, drinking and probably follows with you making a bad deceision at a bar with some random stranger/s. <-- Its happened. I suppose its not even the exes that cause me stress, but more so the ideals of the women Ive encountered.
Stress Issue Three Video Games
Oh how I love video games. Am I a nerd? Probably, Still get laid more than your average joe I promise you that. "pff, By fat chicks." No, you are wrong bud. Strippers ("Eww. Gross!" Says one girl reading this blog. Your right, Strippers arent people, mothers, friends or family members. Ah, The narrowminded.) Waitresses, college girls and peers. And even then, fat chicks? Just another way to be part of the degrading message society has to send to anyone who is comfortable with their body. I cant tell you, as a male, how many times I have sat and talked up a girls self esteem because they believe they are too fat, ugly or hideous to do anything that would possibly reveal their true body nature to the world. Women, In general, are beautiful creatures. Full of over exterted emotion, crazy backstabbing schemes and vindicitive behavior sure. However, Amazing creatures with the ability to make even the worst days fade away. But with such power comes responsibility right? With such power, your nagging and "me me me!" ideals really drive us to get our mind off of things. Let me play a game, get my mind out of 'YOUR' world. Let me have complete control over some pixelated little avenger for the light, or minion of hell for just a few hours a day. I promise at the end of the night you will have my full attention. I know, Sex right. Becuase only men enjoy it, and women are use objects are to be used. Just to clear that up, Sarcasm. Women like sex just as much if not more than I do. Which is a feat all in its own. Orgasm is a word I generally only speak of in the plural sense. And to the girls that cant have orgasms. Your tricking yourself. Self fulfilling prophecy right there, Stop it. Dont believe me, Ive got references. Oh, I didnt give it, But i know who did and to who.
Just a point, to anyone who actually reads my blogs. They are tangegated. If thats not a word, I just made it one. Matter of fact, im going to look it up. One moment please..
Its not a word. As of February 9th, 2011 at 4:32 Pm. I declare Tangegated a word of Trounce-isms.
Should I explain that word? Read my previous three paragraphs. They are Tangegated. They start one place, and then flow outward until they may have nothing to do with my intiail point, However, if you retrace your steps, you might wind up at the beginning. Might being the key word. My mind runs off in tangents all time. Its a habit. I like to keep my mind healthy, busy and always in motion. As I write my posts I have music that is busy, full of words and beats. Like Techno or . . Rave music. Not something I listen to on a day to day basis. However, it seems that this music speaks to me as I write. I think this post is good for now, Ill write another in a week.
Stay stress free.. Have some sex. Smoke a bowl. Mediate. To each their own.
-Trounce
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