Though they are common, and society brings out the best and shames the worst of them, Oddities exist in everyone. Just as you tell a child they cant have something. They want it even more. Isnt that how life is? The desire to have something, someone.. and as soon as you cant have it, the craving kicks in like a mother fucker? I am certainly experiencing that right now. On several fronts. Who is to blame tho, I suppose. I know for one, I just need to grab hold the horns of life, and direct this beast to my pen of contemplation, tame it and release it back into the wild. Which we call Life, I think.
I cant remember the last time I smiled like I used to, In those pictures that I looked at.. It was a long time ago. No, Not a soul has come close to making me feel that happy. Does that mean I havent been happy - bright eyed and bushy tailed a few times a month? No. I have been. But does it compare. No. It does not. Then again, what compares to a birthday card that brings a tear to the eye? You get it once a year, and then again, it has to be a good damn card. Something about a Fathers admiration at your accomplisments in life, really help turn things around Id bet. Im at one of those points where something of that nature could help. Does it mean thats what I desire, No, not truly. Its more of the feeling behind it.
Of all the things that are happening in life right now, There are many things to be thankful for. For instance, Im alive. Employed. Housed and fed. I feel Im taking a serious shaft up the ol' keister right now. But hey, Can I hack it? Well, Of course. Though Rion needs some support now and again, even without it, He will carry on. Its the 'Nullstone' inside me that really helps. A black hole for the negativity to be sucked down and obliterated. Sometimes, the negativity bulks up, I get nuked down and beat up by bursts.. No time for that black hole to empty and take it all in. So, just as the winds wear down a mountain over the course of a millennia, I too wither a bit. Unlike a mountain, I grow back. Actually.. Its not unlike a mountain, Tectonic plates make mountains grow. So what are my tectonic plates? Sometimes it seems its something unnatural. It takes a moment.. A drink.. A drug.. Something to make me realize that things arent so bad. And perhaps Ill grow my skin a bit thicker in areas, scales here or there... Strap a shield on my arm, a sallet on my head and learn to wield a sword. All metaphorical of course, as I think walking around like that may attract some unwanted attention. But, its Portland isnt it. Sometimes I feel its neccesary to gear up.
I havent ever saved a princess. Did you know that? Isnt that what men are supposed to do? Grow up, Grow strong and rescue some fair maiden from a tower? I thought that growing up. Turns out, the maiden just wants out, the dragon a ploy.. and all in all you'll be robbed of your castle and steed when you divorce. Perhaps its a good thing then. But I do have hope, I see some couples so devoted its annoying. My devotion runs deeper I think. How many girls laughed at that? Take your anger, your thirst for making me hurt and think about it. I am really.. Not that bad of a guy. Its questionable, sure. My morals and train of thought is very often questioned. Or at least, taken with a grain of salt. . . An aspirin, shot of jack and a vodka back.. but still. You dont jump out of a plane on a whim. Some do.. But if you cant handle my plane, my altitude and my sense of tom foolery.. Do you really even want to know me in the first place?
I am a complex person, to say the least. Then again, Arent we all? Men are to women, and women are to men. Two of the same creations, by the same person. Allegedly anyways. The oddity about me, is even in company.. amidst drinks and what have you.. My mind whirls and dissects things, contemplates and damn near drives me mad. Truth is, I cant sit and talk to someone without thinking more about who they are.. than what they are saying. If Ive ever been talking and forgotten my train of thought, Chances are Ive gotten lost in the idea that you actually care what Im even saying, and if its even worth saying anymore. The contemplation is deep and brooding however. So, at 5 am in the morning ,at a Denny's, I realized a few new things. Anything new about myself? Well, Sure. Life is a lesson. A long one. Who is the lesson for? Ourselves? Well, we die in the end, So whats the point? Future generations? Is life a big game, or trial for mankind to some bigger power? Would a religios person say yes.. if so, Why would god test man, for what purpose. Wouldnt that make him the kid with the magnifying glass above the ant hill? Questions that will never be answered. And to the religious person, You are wrong. Whatever you opinion on past questions.. is wrong. And here is why.
What? You expected an answer? Now you know how the non religious feel. Trust me, I wrote the answer above this paragraph, Just believe its there and youll see it. Oh? Now you are mad? Upset? Dissapointed in my lack of belief. No, Run off.. pray. Let your sub concious roam, as mine does. Let your thoughts wander, your mind drift. Open your mind, away from the straight and narrow, away from the dichotimous thinking that you are driven to do most of the time. Youll get your answer. Now the tricky part, youve answered your own thought havent you. So, Who is god then? I am my own God. I choose when I choose to really live, and I will choose when I die. And its not for a long time. Unfortunately, the one thing I seem to be having a hard time with .. Is when you be happy. It just so happens, that part of my life isnt run by me.. Its run by that damned princess and her Dragon. That Damned Dragon.. Oh how to slay it..
-Trounce
Monday, March 5, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Stalking a Lover.
So, When one is certainly drunk, More than nomal. Her or She does things thats more or less, against the law. Or even agains their nature. Thats me, This fine evening. What did I do this fine evening you may ask, well, I shant tell. Why? Well why the fuck would I. All I can say is, I went somewhere, To check on someone.. And found nothing. Which doesnt mean I didnt find what I was looking for, It just means I need more information to confirm what I am looking to find. In otherwords, I missed.
The bigger question is, who or what was I looking to find. Well, In all honesty, I was looking for an ex. Which Ex, Fuck you if you dont truely know. Its obvious. It can only be one of two. But, I didnt find her. I am half sad, half angry.. Well.. More angry I didnt find her. But thats besides the point. She makes me sad anyways, I cant even explain to the masses how I really feel about her, Beacuse the majority already dislike her. But does that deter me?! Fuck no! Fuck you for your negativity.
Love cant be defined with words, Anyone who has ever been there could tell you that. Point and case is, I searched, and I am kinda glad I didnt find what I expected to. At least it means the guy was able to have a place to himself unlike I do. Does that mean im happy about it? FUCK THAT! Im pissed off.. Royally. I am sure this little blog wont do a DAMN THING to fix anything.. But im writing it anways. Mainly because im drunk and cant help it. But.. Seriously.. people need to understand what I feel is going on. Im stuck between a few differnt options. One, Primarly, Is ideal. One not so ideal but would be better for all in my opinion, and a third which negates everyones feelings but may work out for the nuetrality of everyone. And that isnt a bad thing. Its just more of a losers terms I think.
You see, I really want to give it my all, My whole Gung-Ho Attitude. But Im being stopped by a mysterious 3rd party. I dont know the fucker, I dont WANT TO KNOW the fucker. But its happening. How would you feel if your previous lover was being loved on by another? Its how I feel. Constantly, Every day.. FUCK YOU PEOPLE. Why does Rion seem upset, FUCK YOU! Im fuckin pissed people. You claim you dont know whats wrong or you dont know how to help.. Or you dont know whats best for me, Fuck off. You know what I want? A Family. Wow, Who saw that coming? No one. Fuck you. MUAH! Kiss my black ass people. KNOW ME better. Fucktards. Geezus Christ. I quit this fucking blog. G R R.
The bigger question is, who or what was I looking to find. Well, In all honesty, I was looking for an ex. Which Ex, Fuck you if you dont truely know. Its obvious. It can only be one of two. But, I didnt find her. I am half sad, half angry.. Well.. More angry I didnt find her. But thats besides the point. She makes me sad anyways, I cant even explain to the masses how I really feel about her, Beacuse the majority already dislike her. But does that deter me?! Fuck no! Fuck you for your negativity.
Love cant be defined with words, Anyone who has ever been there could tell you that. Point and case is, I searched, and I am kinda glad I didnt find what I expected to. At least it means the guy was able to have a place to himself unlike I do. Does that mean im happy about it? FUCK THAT! Im pissed off.. Royally. I am sure this little blog wont do a DAMN THING to fix anything.. But im writing it anways. Mainly because im drunk and cant help it. But.. Seriously.. people need to understand what I feel is going on. Im stuck between a few differnt options. One, Primarly, Is ideal. One not so ideal but would be better for all in my opinion, and a third which negates everyones feelings but may work out for the nuetrality of everyone. And that isnt a bad thing. Its just more of a losers terms I think.
You see, I really want to give it my all, My whole Gung-Ho Attitude. But Im being stopped by a mysterious 3rd party. I dont know the fucker, I dont WANT TO KNOW the fucker. But its happening. How would you feel if your previous lover was being loved on by another? Its how I feel. Constantly, Every day.. FUCK YOU PEOPLE. Why does Rion seem upset, FUCK YOU! Im fuckin pissed people. You claim you dont know whats wrong or you dont know how to help.. Or you dont know whats best for me, Fuck off. You know what I want? A Family. Wow, Who saw that coming? No one. Fuck you. MUAH! Kiss my black ass people. KNOW ME better. Fucktards. Geezus Christ. I quit this fucking blog. G R R.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
White Noise
I always seem to write when I am stressed out. If you've been paying attention lately. . . I am stressed. I mean, lets do a little recap of the past 6 months. Moved out of an apartment that I had with some really cool people. Got into a good relationship and great apartment with a fantastic girl. More or less a step up from something I did have. Might take that with a grain of salt. However, that didnt last long. More or less due to me. Then I got in trouble for hitting my ex girlfriend. Cant really deny that happened. We could go into why I did it, But who cares. When you are guilty, Ur Guilty. Now im unemployed and cant pay any of my bills, loans, child support or have the cash for my class. If I dont take the class by the way, I go to jail. No passing GO and certainly no 200 bucks.
So, with all that. I have been having a real hard time sleeping. 5 am rolls around and my eyes are still open and staring at the ceiling. But hey, stress does that. I know my stress affects other people too. I know it rolls off, and I make people worry. But when has Rion ever done anything so stupid that he cant pop back up from it. I do stupid shit every day though. I think we all do. To a point. Ive been so lame lately, even to the point I get no sex. My choice really, But thats how it goes I suppose. No work, No play.. Not cool. Ive had some thoughts about skipping town. But, I really cant do that. Though, I know some people would just love to see me go. More or less so they could prove to the world how horrible I am.
I suppose its the way it will be anyhow. I think what bothers me the most, is how im referred to as the bad guy. I suppose in some aspects I deserve it. I just think there are more than a dozen reasons why I dont deserve the title. Does the past ever mean anything? Could you be a superhero all your life, then make one mistake and have it all go down the drain? Or is that just something women are amazing at doing? Crushing the past with an iron fist and making the here and now matter. However, If in their past they did nothing but take care of you, mother you and "make you a better person", you will only ever here it as them being so amazing in the past. Usually, they leave you because they just cant keep carrying you. Oh, How silly women are lately.
As sad as it is, its become a womans world. Oh, dont get me wrong. Its not because they run it, or are more intelligent than us males. Nay, they are not more powerful or amazing in any way. They scream equality, but really demand extensive care. Used to be, the woman ran to the man for protection. We hunted and helped them survive. Oh, Dont get me wrong. I am sure women could have done it themselves. But, they didnt. Now, the second a woman gets in trouble, needs money or a second (third, fourth or fifth) chance.. Well.. part the red seas again. We got another one.
Dont get me wrong. I love women, I think they are amazing. Just like every girl has a prince charming. Im sure there are amazing women out there. The world Cannot be full of . . lazy, controlling, manipulative, greedy, holier than thou, my way or the highway, attitude wielding, PMS abusing women. Oh.. they already do. They are all 2 years old. .or 3.. maybe even 4. But after 4 I am pretty sure they develop an attitude and start acting like their mom.
None of that, by the way, its directed at any specific person, or groups of people. Its more of a opinion on society. If you feel insulted by that, please do ask yourself.. Why? On another note, do you ever wonder why women pride themselves on being bitches? Or hard asses? Or 'single independent mothers'. Is that even a compliment to ones self? Children need a mother and a father to be raised in good fashion. They dont have to be together, but seriously. How many times do I see the same old sentence describing a woman. "I have a son/daughter and he/she is my world!" "I raise him by myself because his/her dad isnt around/doesnt wanna be around." Being a male in that situation, I cant say Im the worlds best father. Im probably very far from it, and I can admit that. But I promise you that second quote doesnt apply to me at all. More or less, I have been threatened with him being moved to another state because Im an asshole. Right, Take it out on the child because Im an asshole. Get over it maybe, thats my thought.
The majority of people with kids that I know, are single. Whether they be man or woman. You have your occasional situation where the woman lost her boyfriend/husband in the war, or in an accident. Thats an entirely different story, But amazingly enough the women are still just as bitter. No idea what Im going to do now tho.
I suppose I should just finish out this sentence that Ive been assigned to do. Get it all done and go try again somewhere else. It seems im at the point of no return really. I suppose I should get a vesectomy though. It seems making babies is bad joojoo for me. They turn out super cute and amazing, But they seem to ruin the girls ive been with. Or, Is that me? I think its me, pretty sure it is. I suppose thats a fair assumption. I cant be good at everything though. Perhaps relationships are just not my thing. Ive been told how much fun I am single anyhow. I do know, that a year from now ill be laying on a pillow, thinking about the past and realizing I fucked up again. But, Ill be far away. Most likely with a different girl laying across my chest. Hrmm, Hope she isnt ugly. Haha. But we can all hope cant we.
The women that are in and around my life now are quite fantastic tho. In their own way. One is a lot of fun, if I can ever get her out. Another is a shining beacon of hope for woman kind. The other is a constant whirlwind of emotion. Now, the trick is.. am I really describing one woman at a time, or all three woman at once with the same three lines? Because lets face it, I really did just describe most women. Its all in the moment really. One day you wake up and think, Wow. She is awesome. Another day.. They are too tired to do anything and just wanna watch a movie. The third hour they are crying and upset because You didnt take out the trash. Ok, Im being obnoxious now.
If only I had the power to replay the last 10 years of my life.
What would I do then, If I could. Oh, I can think of a dozen things Id do, a few things I wouldnt. And a whole shit load of things id do differently.
-Trounce
So, with all that. I have been having a real hard time sleeping. 5 am rolls around and my eyes are still open and staring at the ceiling. But hey, stress does that. I know my stress affects other people too. I know it rolls off, and I make people worry. But when has Rion ever done anything so stupid that he cant pop back up from it. I do stupid shit every day though. I think we all do. To a point. Ive been so lame lately, even to the point I get no sex. My choice really, But thats how it goes I suppose. No work, No play.. Not cool. Ive had some thoughts about skipping town. But, I really cant do that. Though, I know some people would just love to see me go. More or less so they could prove to the world how horrible I am.
I suppose its the way it will be anyhow. I think what bothers me the most, is how im referred to as the bad guy. I suppose in some aspects I deserve it. I just think there are more than a dozen reasons why I dont deserve the title. Does the past ever mean anything? Could you be a superhero all your life, then make one mistake and have it all go down the drain? Or is that just something women are amazing at doing? Crushing the past with an iron fist and making the here and now matter. However, If in their past they did nothing but take care of you, mother you and "make you a better person", you will only ever here it as them being so amazing in the past. Usually, they leave you because they just cant keep carrying you. Oh, How silly women are lately.
As sad as it is, its become a womans world. Oh, dont get me wrong. Its not because they run it, or are more intelligent than us males. Nay, they are not more powerful or amazing in any way. They scream equality, but really demand extensive care. Used to be, the woman ran to the man for protection. We hunted and helped them survive. Oh, Dont get me wrong. I am sure women could have done it themselves. But, they didnt. Now, the second a woman gets in trouble, needs money or a second (third, fourth or fifth) chance.. Well.. part the red seas again. We got another one.
Dont get me wrong. I love women, I think they are amazing. Just like every girl has a prince charming. Im sure there are amazing women out there. The world Cannot be full of . . lazy, controlling, manipulative, greedy, holier than thou, my way or the highway, attitude wielding, PMS abusing women. Oh.. they already do. They are all 2 years old. .or 3.. maybe even 4. But after 4 I am pretty sure they develop an attitude and start acting like their mom.
None of that, by the way, its directed at any specific person, or groups of people. Its more of a opinion on society. If you feel insulted by that, please do ask yourself.. Why? On another note, do you ever wonder why women pride themselves on being bitches? Or hard asses? Or 'single independent mothers'. Is that even a compliment to ones self? Children need a mother and a father to be raised in good fashion. They dont have to be together, but seriously. How many times do I see the same old sentence describing a woman. "I have a son/daughter and he/she is my world!" "I raise him by myself because his/her dad isnt around/doesnt wanna be around." Being a male in that situation, I cant say Im the worlds best father. Im probably very far from it, and I can admit that. But I promise you that second quote doesnt apply to me at all. More or less, I have been threatened with him being moved to another state because Im an asshole. Right, Take it out on the child because Im an asshole. Get over it maybe, thats my thought.
The majority of people with kids that I know, are single. Whether they be man or woman. You have your occasional situation where the woman lost her boyfriend/husband in the war, or in an accident. Thats an entirely different story, But amazingly enough the women are still just as bitter. No idea what Im going to do now tho.
I suppose I should just finish out this sentence that Ive been assigned to do. Get it all done and go try again somewhere else. It seems im at the point of no return really. I suppose I should get a vesectomy though. It seems making babies is bad joojoo for me. They turn out super cute and amazing, But they seem to ruin the girls ive been with. Or, Is that me? I think its me, pretty sure it is. I suppose thats a fair assumption. I cant be good at everything though. Perhaps relationships are just not my thing. Ive been told how much fun I am single anyhow. I do know, that a year from now ill be laying on a pillow, thinking about the past and realizing I fucked up again. But, Ill be far away. Most likely with a different girl laying across my chest. Hrmm, Hope she isnt ugly. Haha. But we can all hope cant we.
The women that are in and around my life now are quite fantastic tho. In their own way. One is a lot of fun, if I can ever get her out. Another is a shining beacon of hope for woman kind. The other is a constant whirlwind of emotion. Now, the trick is.. am I really describing one woman at a time, or all three woman at once with the same three lines? Because lets face it, I really did just describe most women. Its all in the moment really. One day you wake up and think, Wow. She is awesome. Another day.. They are too tired to do anything and just wanna watch a movie. The third hour they are crying and upset because You didnt take out the trash. Ok, Im being obnoxious now.
If only I had the power to replay the last 10 years of my life.
What would I do then, If I could. Oh, I can think of a dozen things Id do, a few things I wouldnt. And a whole shit load of things id do differently.
-Trounce
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Whimsical Thoughts of Musical Background
Bloggedy Blog, Blog blog blog.. Blog.
I know you've been waiting for one. Do I dare let you know what this one entails. Well, I could. But you'll read it anyway, so who gives a flying fuck. A flying Fuck.. Where the hell did that phrase come from. Seriously.
Seriously, Don't you love that line. "Dude, Seriously" No one can ever take another person seriously when they start a sentence with the word dude. You are not Lebowski. Stop trying. Because lets face it, No one can truly be.. The Dude. Side note, listen to more Finger Eleven you crazy fools. Stay in Shadow. I don't really know what I'm typing here. Ive been drinking, And since I've been berated for posting on facebook at such times. Ill just sit here and type every damn thought that comes through my head. With no erasing, Because that's the beauty of Trouncisms. I dance like a retard by the way, No offense to the special people. I remember this one time, I got so drunk and danced at the Longbranch. Boy, that was a mistake. Though apparently, older Russian ladies dig me. Ha! funny shit.
Shit, Ive had some good times this past year. Some silly ones too. But I think the fun has outweighed the bad. Even though my stress level has been through the roof. Swear I'm having chest pains, Should probably have them checked out. ya know, for health reasons. Another side note, I now realize why my Aunt Jackie is so crazy. Budlight is decently good beer for being pisswater. Makes me one happy guy. And let me tell you, A night at the bar with Ol' Jackie, well.. It rivals that of some parties Ive had. So, This one time at band camp.. No. You're crazy. So, There I was. Hey, Another thing that's cool. Me. Ziing. So I have this Kiddo right? His name is Dante, Coolest lil guy I know. Yeah its a biased opinion, But seriously.. Kids got it goin on. I blame his parents. Woot.
Woot, Wtf is that. Its not an animal noise. Unless.. its an owl with a lisp. Well, it couldn't be a lisp could it, Perhaps a speech imperfection. Who the heck knows. But really, Where did it come from. Someone look that shit up. Personally, I remember saying it back in Infantry and Cosmic Rift (That's for you Harley). I don't think I should really type any more this evening. I got so much crap to do this week before school starts, But I don really want to. Procrastinate much? Hardly more than Masturbate. Wait, What?! Bah, No rewind on this bitch. Vamanose Putos! Don't look that up btw. Is it right to use acronyms in a blog? Who the hell cares, I just did. Welcome to Trouncisms. Listening to Red Hot Chile Peppers now. Good band, Classic and still grinding out my horribly bad moves to em. And then the music sloooows down. The Fray. Talk about being in the midst of things.
Things aren't the greatest right now, we all know that. With the economy and bullshit like that. Minor issues that tear relationships apart. Stress and all that fuckin jazz. Something that everyone should learn by the way.. Is to relax. Ive been called on to belittle feelings. I don't mean to, I'm more of a mediator of Bullshit drama and drama worth worrying over. Is facebook something to deter family members from talking? Is it a place where two families from to fight about who is right and wrong when it was originally a mistake between one lover and another? The Internet has taken away decency. I'm aware of that. There is a lot of bullshit we all go through on a daily basis, that can really just be nullified with a little common sense and original thought. I think it would be beneficial to anyone, to really think before they let certain things come between two people. There are a hundred different versions of stress we deal with every day, week, hour and month. Lets break em down, and realize that we don't have to worry about some things. Let em go, Be happy. Don't worry. You know, like the song. Well, I think that's about it for this edition of Trouncisms.
Trouncisms
-Rion Criss
"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."
I know you've been waiting for one. Do I dare let you know what this one entails. Well, I could. But you'll read it anyway, so who gives a flying fuck. A flying Fuck.. Where the hell did that phrase come from. Seriously.
Seriously, Don't you love that line. "Dude, Seriously" No one can ever take another person seriously when they start a sentence with the word dude. You are not Lebowski. Stop trying. Because lets face it, No one can truly be.. The Dude. Side note, listen to more Finger Eleven you crazy fools. Stay in Shadow. I don't really know what I'm typing here. Ive been drinking, And since I've been berated for posting on facebook at such times. Ill just sit here and type every damn thought that comes through my head. With no erasing, Because that's the beauty of Trouncisms. I dance like a retard by the way, No offense to the special people. I remember this one time, I got so drunk and danced at the Longbranch. Boy, that was a mistake. Though apparently, older Russian ladies dig me. Ha! funny shit.
Shit, Ive had some good times this past year. Some silly ones too. But I think the fun has outweighed the bad. Even though my stress level has been through the roof. Swear I'm having chest pains, Should probably have them checked out. ya know, for health reasons. Another side note, I now realize why my Aunt Jackie is so crazy. Budlight is decently good beer for being pisswater. Makes me one happy guy. And let me tell you, A night at the bar with Ol' Jackie, well.. It rivals that of some parties Ive had. So, This one time at band camp.. No. You're crazy. So, There I was. Hey, Another thing that's cool. Me. Ziing. So I have this Kiddo right? His name is Dante, Coolest lil guy I know. Yeah its a biased opinion, But seriously.. Kids got it goin on. I blame his parents. Woot.
Woot, Wtf is that. Its not an animal noise. Unless.. its an owl with a lisp. Well, it couldn't be a lisp could it, Perhaps a speech imperfection. Who the heck knows. But really, Where did it come from. Someone look that shit up. Personally, I remember saying it back in Infantry and Cosmic Rift (That's for you Harley). I don't think I should really type any more this evening. I got so much crap to do this week before school starts, But I don really want to. Procrastinate much? Hardly more than Masturbate. Wait, What?! Bah, No rewind on this bitch. Vamanose Putos! Don't look that up btw. Is it right to use acronyms in a blog? Who the hell cares, I just did. Welcome to Trouncisms. Listening to Red Hot Chile Peppers now. Good band, Classic and still grinding out my horribly bad moves to em. And then the music sloooows down. The Fray. Talk about being in the midst of things.
Things aren't the greatest right now, we all know that. With the economy and bullshit like that. Minor issues that tear relationships apart. Stress and all that fuckin jazz. Something that everyone should learn by the way.. Is to relax. Ive been called on to belittle feelings. I don't mean to, I'm more of a mediator of Bullshit drama and drama worth worrying over. Is facebook something to deter family members from talking? Is it a place where two families from to fight about who is right and wrong when it was originally a mistake between one lover and another? The Internet has taken away decency. I'm aware of that. There is a lot of bullshit we all go through on a daily basis, that can really just be nullified with a little common sense and original thought. I think it would be beneficial to anyone, to really think before they let certain things come between two people. There are a hundred different versions of stress we deal with every day, week, hour and month. Lets break em down, and realize that we don't have to worry about some things. Let em go, Be happy. Don't worry. You know, like the song. Well, I think that's about it for this edition of Trouncisms.
Trouncisms
-Rion Criss
"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."
Monday, February 28, 2011
Spoken Cancer - Cured
This has been an interesting week. I have some realisations. I don't think they were the best ones, as in, those that make me happy. Probably tipping toward the negative. But that's alright, because life will go on. Set your eyes on the horizon and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I am not sure about one thing though. There is this guy, in one of the online games I play. No, Its not WoW. Seriously.. But to the point. It seems, though he is far from the circle of close friends, he seems to ask the questions I feel my close to home friends should ask. No big deal though, perhaps in the real world, as in, not online, I am not the type of person you approach for things like that. I think a lot of people put out that extremely common phrase, "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here". But are they?
Being the person I am, I will always have a place for a friend to sleep. Perhaps I cant always give someone forty bucks, or even pay back a fifty I borrowed more than a year ago. However, I do my best to keep my place and availability open to those that need help. I would probably be a lot better off if I kept myself "broke" all the time. I would like to say that I am always improving who I am. But I know that's nearly a bold faced lie. More or less, I try to talk better my mind and morals than anything. I just cant show that to anyone, because its really hard to prove that a moral has been made stronger. So, I have been toying with the idea of finding a boxing teacher. A little self discipline and a hearty workout would probably do me a good amount of.. well Good.
You know, I wanna touch on something real quick. I think its funny, and even I am guilty of it on occasion. It happens mostly online, But I hear it more and more in real life. Its so fucking common, to call someone a faggot, or a nigger. Do we have a love for the letter g or something? Or, do we just use the two things that we can make fun of the easiest because we lack some creativity. A faggot is not a cigarette. "Oh but it is in. . . " Blah blah blah. I don't fuckin CARE what a faggot is in another country, or if back in the day it was a synonym for a cigarette. You wanna call someone a faggot, or gay.. Do it elsewhere. For fucks sake, I don't actively seek to surround myself by self afflicted idiots. You wanna use the word Nigger, Go to Alabama and walk into a bar full of black people. Show me you got balls to do it, and Ill let you use it. Not that I will seriously stop you, but really.. come on. I think Racism is funny. The jokes make me laugh, because racial stereotypes are funny. Do I think actual racist behavior and actual racist violence is funny, no. Its pointless, narrow minded and ignorant. So do me the tiniest favor if you read this blog, realise those words make me uncomfortable, and don't use them. Also.. "That's so gay." Really, High school was years ago bro, let it go.
Now that I have done my one humanitarian deed for the week, what else do I talk about. Not a lot on my mind. Just had to fulfill my weekly blog. Sittin here at near 5 in the morning. Drinking a glass of water and thinking about brushing my teeth. Perhaps Ill go for a walk.
I really hope that by the time I'm 27, which is about 12 months away.. I have actually learned a thing or two in the ring, and have actually adhered to a workout routine that gets me to where I wanna be. Sick and tired of being a procrastinator. Just going to break the habit. Tired of being a fat American. Ha. That was for the 0GC Boys.
-Trounce
I am not sure about one thing though. There is this guy, in one of the online games I play. No, Its not WoW. Seriously.. But to the point. It seems, though he is far from the circle of close friends, he seems to ask the questions I feel my close to home friends should ask. No big deal though, perhaps in the real world, as in, not online, I am not the type of person you approach for things like that. I think a lot of people put out that extremely common phrase, "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here". But are they?
Being the person I am, I will always have a place for a friend to sleep. Perhaps I cant always give someone forty bucks, or even pay back a fifty I borrowed more than a year ago. However, I do my best to keep my place and availability open to those that need help. I would probably be a lot better off if I kept myself "broke" all the time. I would like to say that I am always improving who I am. But I know that's nearly a bold faced lie. More or less, I try to talk better my mind and morals than anything. I just cant show that to anyone, because its really hard to prove that a moral has been made stronger. So, I have been toying with the idea of finding a boxing teacher. A little self discipline and a hearty workout would probably do me a good amount of.. well Good.
You know, I wanna touch on something real quick. I think its funny, and even I am guilty of it on occasion. It happens mostly online, But I hear it more and more in real life. Its so fucking common, to call someone a faggot, or a nigger. Do we have a love for the letter g or something? Or, do we just use the two things that we can make fun of the easiest because we lack some creativity. A faggot is not a cigarette. "Oh but it is in. . . " Blah blah blah. I don't fuckin CARE what a faggot is in another country, or if back in the day it was a synonym for a cigarette. You wanna call someone a faggot, or gay.. Do it elsewhere. For fucks sake, I don't actively seek to surround myself by self afflicted idiots. You wanna use the word Nigger, Go to Alabama and walk into a bar full of black people. Show me you got balls to do it, and Ill let you use it. Not that I will seriously stop you, but really.. come on. I think Racism is funny. The jokes make me laugh, because racial stereotypes are funny. Do I think actual racist behavior and actual racist violence is funny, no. Its pointless, narrow minded and ignorant. So do me the tiniest favor if you read this blog, realise those words make me uncomfortable, and don't use them. Also.. "That's so gay." Really, High school was years ago bro, let it go.
Now that I have done my one humanitarian deed for the week, what else do I talk about. Not a lot on my mind. Just had to fulfill my weekly blog. Sittin here at near 5 in the morning. Drinking a glass of water and thinking about brushing my teeth. Perhaps Ill go for a walk.
I really hope that by the time I'm 27, which is about 12 months away.. I have actually learned a thing or two in the ring, and have actually adhered to a workout routine that gets me to where I wanna be. Sick and tired of being a procrastinator. Just going to break the habit. Tired of being a fat American. Ha. That was for the 0GC Boys.
-Trounce
Monday, February 21, 2011
Three strikes and I'm ... Out?
Alright. So, After about 3 paragraphs, I erased what I wrote. Then, erased yet another paragraph. Lack of inspiration. What does inspire me. Psychology, women, Feelings, Emotions, Music. Music? yeah, I am surprised at that comment. But I'm doing what I do best, writing off the top of my head. I have decided, That it would be best, if I just learned to define what I want in life and go for it. But, half the problem is, I don't know what I want.
I do know, that I really enjoy being a male. Something about being the protector of the species really calls to me. I never mind putting myself first, or volunteering to help. I think being the gentleman, knight in shining armor really speaks to me. Partly because its a great part of our history as men. I also think it needs to be reinforced lately. So many douche bags on planet earth right now. A whole lot more in and around my circle of friends than I thought. I know I am an asshole, especially when it comes to the emotions I put women through. I need work, I know that. But don't we all? Ive made a great many mistakes toward women. How many times will I revisit this nightmare.
Lets kill a few inner demons shall we. Lets see, Ive had 3 serious relationships I think. I've cheated in every one of them. I have lost all three, mainly for that reason. Is it all my fault.. I guess so. I couldn't keep my dick in my pants, mainly cuz its so huge! OK, We all know that's not true. Do I regret cheating, I would like to think not. I don't want to regret the one life I have, and the decisions I make in it. I would like to think I have had some of the most perfect women that life could offer, as far as them being my girlfriend.
My first. . Well, we had a song and everything. I was her first.. everything. She was the first person my heart was stolen by. She may not know it, But it was hers from the moment I laid eyes on her. It was that innocent smile, and those bright eyes. She was probably one of the happiest people id ever seen in my life. Hopefully no one knows what its like to see someone you love breaking down in front of you, because of something you did to them. I don't like to think I did that, more than once. But its true. However, in the time that we did spend together.. Despite being txted or called every other hour. . She was amazing to me. From the time we saw each other in the morning, until the txt or late call to wish each other good night.
The second, was nearly the same. Well, no. Who am I kidding. She was one of a kind, so imperfect. It was a square meeting a triangle. Different sides about everything. Nothing matched up, but we did. Somehow. Her blue eyes, so bright. She tried to hard to hide her lazy eye.. I noticed. She had the most adorable laugh, and dammit, I hated yelling at her. She didn't deserve my attitude on half the matters that came up. Although I put a lot of time and effort into our relationship. I don't think I gave it my all. More and more I think I could have saved it all. And now, Ive lost it for good I think. There are some that still put a small amount of stock into it, I just don't see it. She has gone so far as to get married, But not because of me. No. To be happy and move on. We still have, id hope, one thing that bonds us. Although, she will probably ignore it.
My third and most recent. . It still hurts, though she might not think it does. I don't even know that what we had was as real as we both think. It seemed to revolve around the bedroom, as I suppose made sense. Drinks and sex. I still loved her though. I think women are weird that way though. Taking only a moment to fall so ever deeply in love, and then when the relationship is over. It only seems a few months and they have completely forgotten everything. And as a man, Do I admit to still having such feelings long after? Is it because I can differentiate between romantic sex and physical gratification? Just something I will have to work on. She was amazing, If only we could find common ground besides a pillow top mattress.
In all these relationships I can say that I've learned a few things. Id like to say they are things I wont repeat. But that isn't the case, is it. Women are, as I've said, complex creatures. Ive read a six hundred page book, about understand women. I disregarded half of it I'm sure. Well, I retained the information. I just didn't find it accurate. Women are like time and technology. They change every few years. Things are not the way they used to be. I cant understand every one, I know that. I don't even understand myself sometimes. I am fully aware that the most sexually gratifying experiences have been with one of the three women that have been my girlfriends. And its not even due to the emotional part. Its just a fact. You can run a good race, But if you practice, you will only get better.
Perhaps, Ill just cut off women all together. Yeah, Why not. Why don't we try this, See if I can even keep a regiment to my readers. Today is.. Monday, February 21st. What happens if I don't sleep with anyone for six months. For kicks, as I've always wanted to.. Ill grow my hair out. No haircut for six months either. Lets see what I look like with ugly ass long hair. My mom will freak, I be she is as she reads this. It could be fun. Ill do my best to keep myself from women and such. Of course, though. Once I commit to this, Karma will kick me in the ass and throw every sexually frustrated women at my doorstep. Not that 2 months is any great deal, but 2 months penance for each failed relationship. What do I get if I can pull this off, as Life cant go without rewards. Well, In about six months time.. It will be my daughters birthday, and my sons will have just passed. So perhaps Ill visit my daughter? Who knows.
I will have to explain to all my friends over in Aussie, and throughout the rest of the world, and they will most likely laugh. By the way, My buddies over in Aussie are pretty bad ass. They give me more respect than I deserve. But that's cool. On with the games. They are becoming regular friends, which is nice. I cant tell you how few people ask me in real life how my kids are. I appreciate all those rough neck bastards in the good ol OGC.
-Trounce
I do know, that I really enjoy being a male. Something about being the protector of the species really calls to me. I never mind putting myself first, or volunteering to help. I think being the gentleman, knight in shining armor really speaks to me. Partly because its a great part of our history as men. I also think it needs to be reinforced lately. So many douche bags on planet earth right now. A whole lot more in and around my circle of friends than I thought. I know I am an asshole, especially when it comes to the emotions I put women through. I need work, I know that. But don't we all? Ive made a great many mistakes toward women. How many times will I revisit this nightmare.
Lets kill a few inner demons shall we. Lets see, Ive had 3 serious relationships I think. I've cheated in every one of them. I have lost all three, mainly for that reason. Is it all my fault.. I guess so. I couldn't keep my dick in my pants, mainly cuz its so huge! OK, We all know that's not true. Do I regret cheating, I would like to think not. I don't want to regret the one life I have, and the decisions I make in it. I would like to think I have had some of the most perfect women that life could offer, as far as them being my girlfriend.
My first. . Well, we had a song and everything. I was her first.. everything. She was the first person my heart was stolen by. She may not know it, But it was hers from the moment I laid eyes on her. It was that innocent smile, and those bright eyes. She was probably one of the happiest people id ever seen in my life. Hopefully no one knows what its like to see someone you love breaking down in front of you, because of something you did to them. I don't like to think I did that, more than once. But its true. However, in the time that we did spend together.. Despite being txted or called every other hour. . She was amazing to me. From the time we saw each other in the morning, until the txt or late call to wish each other good night.
The second, was nearly the same. Well, no. Who am I kidding. She was one of a kind, so imperfect. It was a square meeting a triangle. Different sides about everything. Nothing matched up, but we did. Somehow. Her blue eyes, so bright. She tried to hard to hide her lazy eye.. I noticed. She had the most adorable laugh, and dammit, I hated yelling at her. She didn't deserve my attitude on half the matters that came up. Although I put a lot of time and effort into our relationship. I don't think I gave it my all. More and more I think I could have saved it all. And now, Ive lost it for good I think. There are some that still put a small amount of stock into it, I just don't see it. She has gone so far as to get married, But not because of me. No. To be happy and move on. We still have, id hope, one thing that bonds us. Although, she will probably ignore it.
My third and most recent. . It still hurts, though she might not think it does. I don't even know that what we had was as real as we both think. It seemed to revolve around the bedroom, as I suppose made sense. Drinks and sex. I still loved her though. I think women are weird that way though. Taking only a moment to fall so ever deeply in love, and then when the relationship is over. It only seems a few months and they have completely forgotten everything. And as a man, Do I admit to still having such feelings long after? Is it because I can differentiate between romantic sex and physical gratification? Just something I will have to work on. She was amazing, If only we could find common ground besides a pillow top mattress.
In all these relationships I can say that I've learned a few things. Id like to say they are things I wont repeat. But that isn't the case, is it. Women are, as I've said, complex creatures. Ive read a six hundred page book, about understand women. I disregarded half of it I'm sure. Well, I retained the information. I just didn't find it accurate. Women are like time and technology. They change every few years. Things are not the way they used to be. I cant understand every one, I know that. I don't even understand myself sometimes. I am fully aware that the most sexually gratifying experiences have been with one of the three women that have been my girlfriends. And its not even due to the emotional part. Its just a fact. You can run a good race, But if you practice, you will only get better.
Perhaps, Ill just cut off women all together. Yeah, Why not. Why don't we try this, See if I can even keep a regiment to my readers. Today is.. Monday, February 21st. What happens if I don't sleep with anyone for six months. For kicks, as I've always wanted to.. Ill grow my hair out. No haircut for six months either. Lets see what I look like with ugly ass long hair. My mom will freak, I be she is as she reads this. It could be fun. Ill do my best to keep myself from women and such. Of course, though. Once I commit to this, Karma will kick me in the ass and throw every sexually frustrated women at my doorstep. Not that 2 months is any great deal, but 2 months penance for each failed relationship. What do I get if I can pull this off, as Life cant go without rewards. Well, In about six months time.. It will be my daughters birthday, and my sons will have just passed. So perhaps Ill visit my daughter? Who knows.
I will have to explain to all my friends over in Aussie, and throughout the rest of the world, and they will most likely laugh. By the way, My buddies over in Aussie are pretty bad ass. They give me more respect than I deserve. But that's cool. On with the games. They are becoming regular friends, which is nice. I cant tell you how few people ask me in real life how my kids are. I appreciate all those rough neck bastards in the good ol OGC.
-Trounce
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
An Apocalyptic Falicy Corrupted By Innocence.
What happens when people break their own great walls down, and let someone into their heartland? What is it that brings that once warm, loving local to arms? It seems that the answer is not one, but many. Of course, Why the Fuck would the world be simple.
I didn't quite understand a lot of things, until I experienced them. I understood why the emo cries, and tries to fit in to an impossible click at school. Was that through a direct experience? No. But you watch a magician enough, you might just understand a trick or two. Might get close enough to see that wire, cleverly stuck where.. behind his ear? Yeah, that's right. The floating card trick is a sham. But that's what happens when you get close to such things. You realize the falsifications and ill-truths. So why does the emo cry at night? Cry, I meant cut. Sorry. What is with that anyways, Let me guess.. I wouldn't understand? Of course not, I don't understand stupidity. Its something I refuse to experience. Well, that's a falsification in its own. I was untrained in the arts of many things. Until I learned. Anything can be learned.. Anything. So wear your skinny jeans with pride, and don't expect us to understand you. We wont try, because its who you are. Now quit your fuckin bitching about it. The real reason your all pissed off is your nuts cant breath and your takin heat because you stole your sisters jeans. The tight jean has been taken by a much classier version of folk. They are called Wranglers and cowboys do it better. Besides, on any given day id bet on the cowboy to kick my ass than your asphyxiated dick-head self. Unless your Tyler Cushman anyways. Cowboy Fail.
NEXT!
So if your not an emo, and you are someone we can possibly understand on regular terms.. What in life makes you be less than logical and turn what seems prudent into psychosauce? Yeah.. psychosauce. My word. Trounced! Is it a broken heart? Is it drug related.. Another love perhaps? Whatever it may be, I don't understand it. There are things in life that are a given to pause and inhale all that is in the moment. The smell, the imagery and emotional vibes. For instance, Children. The birth of a child is something I soon wont forget. I may have not been there for the first, but I was for the second. I can tell you exactly what was going on at both times when it happened. The next day, the moment is gone. The new-ness in the brain is still ecstatic. Life goes on, as normal. Normal? You question it? So its not normal the day after? Why? Were you ill prepared? Did you not expect a baby to be there the next day? Were you not preparing for 9 months? stupid Stupid STUPID if you weren't. Life goes on. But now what..
Expectations arise every day. When I went into Wendy's and ordered my sandwich meal, I expected tomato on it. With the exception, they had two very visible signs that cautioned their supply was limited due to an heavy icing around their tomato crops. No biggie, I no longer expected it. I don't like them anyways. . To my surprise.. there was tomato on it. I should have prepared, though I did not. So I suffer. However, the solution to that particular problem was easy. I removed the tomato, myself. With my bare hands. Then, I deftly reached for the napkin, but OW! I rolled a 1 on my D20 and nearly knocked over my soda! (Dungeons and Dragons reference = Win) Handling problems is what people need to do. Handle their own problems.
If you don't have enough money to do something, why pretend that you do. Why make it someone else fault. One mother yells at the ex husband, "I have no job, I have no car, I have no money, I cant afford to live on my own. . Pay me child support even though I don't have sole custody." Explain something to me dearest mother of the world. Why, if you are not able to, do you have a child? Oh, That's right. Your man didn't wear a condom. Well then, lets make that his fault, I suppose he should pay you child support. Only the funny thing is, where was your protection? Birth control, the morning after? The Fucking Common Sense to realize what would happen. No one ever regrets having children, Well.. that's also a lie. Some people do. I know that me and my present company do not regret having children at all. They are pride and joy and never to be regretted.
Perhaps that's what makes some people rage, Money. Cash. Green Backs, Facebook coins, Gold, Silver, Copper, Platinum, Dough, Bread.. The root of all evil perhaps. If you have no money, how do you go about getting it. Some work, some deal and some steal. Some people eternally borrow. However you got to get it I suppose. Something that has always irked Trounce though.. Don't ask for money when you have no desire to earn it yourself. I would loan money to almost any of my friends, unless you are unwilling to earn it. That's why its so much easier to loan a stranger bus fare. I don't care if I get it back, I don't know if you would really take the time to earn it. I don't wanna know. Because if I did find out you are nothing but a freeloading son of a bitch.. I would lie to your face, tell you I too am broke. Sorry pal. And even that isn't a whole truth, I am marginally broke right now.
I suppose if their were a moral to this particular rant, It might be to be careful what you wish for. Because if you do get it, are you ready to take it all on. Fear of success leads one to fear failing what they have just achieved. And that to me looks a whole lot less intelligent than trying and failing legitimately. Id much rather fail, than boast, achieve and fail. Too much drama for me.
-Trounce
I didn't quite understand a lot of things, until I experienced them. I understood why the emo cries, and tries to fit in to an impossible click at school. Was that through a direct experience? No. But you watch a magician enough, you might just understand a trick or two. Might get close enough to see that wire, cleverly stuck where.. behind his ear? Yeah, that's right. The floating card trick is a sham. But that's what happens when you get close to such things. You realize the falsifications and ill-truths. So why does the emo cry at night? Cry, I meant cut. Sorry. What is with that anyways, Let me guess.. I wouldn't understand? Of course not, I don't understand stupidity. Its something I refuse to experience. Well, that's a falsification in its own. I was untrained in the arts of many things. Until I learned. Anything can be learned.. Anything. So wear your skinny jeans with pride, and don't expect us to understand you. We wont try, because its who you are. Now quit your fuckin bitching about it. The real reason your all pissed off is your nuts cant breath and your takin heat because you stole your sisters jeans. The tight jean has been taken by a much classier version of folk. They are called Wranglers and cowboys do it better. Besides, on any given day id bet on the cowboy to kick my ass than your asphyxiated dick-head self. Unless your Tyler Cushman anyways. Cowboy Fail.
NEXT!
So if your not an emo, and you are someone we can possibly understand on regular terms.. What in life makes you be less than logical and turn what seems prudent into psychosauce? Yeah.. psychosauce. My word. Trounced! Is it a broken heart? Is it drug related.. Another love perhaps? Whatever it may be, I don't understand it. There are things in life that are a given to pause and inhale all that is in the moment. The smell, the imagery and emotional vibes. For instance, Children. The birth of a child is something I soon wont forget. I may have not been there for the first, but I was for the second. I can tell you exactly what was going on at both times when it happened. The next day, the moment is gone. The new-ness in the brain is still ecstatic. Life goes on, as normal. Normal? You question it? So its not normal the day after? Why? Were you ill prepared? Did you not expect a baby to be there the next day? Were you not preparing for 9 months? stupid Stupid STUPID if you weren't. Life goes on. But now what..
Expectations arise every day. When I went into Wendy's and ordered my sandwich meal, I expected tomato on it. With the exception, they had two very visible signs that cautioned their supply was limited due to an heavy icing around their tomato crops. No biggie, I no longer expected it. I don't like them anyways. . To my surprise.. there was tomato on it. I should have prepared, though I did not. So I suffer. However, the solution to that particular problem was easy. I removed the tomato, myself. With my bare hands. Then, I deftly reached for the napkin, but OW! I rolled a 1 on my D20 and nearly knocked over my soda! (Dungeons and Dragons reference = Win) Handling problems is what people need to do. Handle their own problems.
If you don't have enough money to do something, why pretend that you do. Why make it someone else fault. One mother yells at the ex husband, "I have no job, I have no car, I have no money, I cant afford to live on my own. . Pay me child support even though I don't have sole custody." Explain something to me dearest mother of the world. Why, if you are not able to, do you have a child? Oh, That's right. Your man didn't wear a condom. Well then, lets make that his fault, I suppose he should pay you child support. Only the funny thing is, where was your protection? Birth control, the morning after? The Fucking Common Sense to realize what would happen. No one ever regrets having children, Well.. that's also a lie. Some people do. I know that me and my present company do not regret having children at all. They are pride and joy and never to be regretted.
Perhaps that's what makes some people rage, Money. Cash. Green Backs, Facebook coins, Gold, Silver, Copper, Platinum, Dough, Bread.. The root of all evil perhaps. If you have no money, how do you go about getting it. Some work, some deal and some steal. Some people eternally borrow. However you got to get it I suppose. Something that has always irked Trounce though.. Don't ask for money when you have no desire to earn it yourself. I would loan money to almost any of my friends, unless you are unwilling to earn it. That's why its so much easier to loan a stranger bus fare. I don't care if I get it back, I don't know if you would really take the time to earn it. I don't wanna know. Because if I did find out you are nothing but a freeloading son of a bitch.. I would lie to your face, tell you I too am broke. Sorry pal. And even that isn't a whole truth, I am marginally broke right now.
I suppose if their were a moral to this particular rant, It might be to be careful what you wish for. Because if you do get it, are you ready to take it all on. Fear of success leads one to fear failing what they have just achieved. And that to me looks a whole lot less intelligent than trying and failing legitimately. Id much rather fail, than boast, achieve and fail. Too much drama for me.
-Trounce
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